June 15, 2010

N.B.M. Toy Review: Aqua Sand

Today Not Blessed Mama would like to do something new and exciting for you, my dear mama friends. As you may know, I have 3 adorable Spawn who are some of the most spoiled creatures in existence. Having said that, a lot of toys come through our doors- some great, some not so great, and some that are purely shite, like AQUA SAND!
Ok, first of all, let's look at the name, shall we? Aqua sand- water and sand. Are these 2 things you really want your kid playing with in your house? Umm, duh, NO! Of course not! From the get go you know this toy is bad news. I want to call the company and see if I can get the number of the guy who invented this, because you know it's some moronic guy who hates women. I will find you, sir!
But my cute little Spawn#2 just had to have it, and she did receive it for her birthday. The set comes with a little tank, a mermaid, the colored sand in squeeze bottles and a little rake tool. All for the bargain price of $20. I think the company paying me $20 to throw it in the trash is more appropriate, but that's just me.
As you can see in the picture, the idea is to make a cute little ocean scene for Miss Too-Much-Makeup Mermaid to reside in. That girl in the photo must be a damn rocket scientist to have made that gorgeous scene. In reality, you can only stack the sand up about an inch, and make a tank of prettily colored little turd shapes. The water starts getting murky after a day, so you can't even display your work of art for long. And then the real joy begins, because you have to get the sand out. You're not going to flush $5 worth of pink sand down the can in this economy, are you? Fortunately a sieve the size of a dime is included, so you can spend 3 hours scooping out grains of sand while cursing Spin Master for making such an idiotic product.
So, to conclude, if you feel like having grains of blue sand permanently ground into your feet and kitchen floor, Aqua Sand is for you! If you are on a budget, go to the park, fill a Ziploc with sand and dump it on your kitchen floor (your kids would probably like that better than Aqua Sand anyway- no frustration). I'm going to have to give this product a rating of 2 thumbs waaaay down- and a warning to that genius Aqua Sand inventor that he is headed the right way for a smack bottom.


  1. I don't know if I am just exhausted to the point of delirium, or if you are the funniest person on the planet. I am laughing OUT LOUD with tears streaming down my face. You must be a stand up comic, or parenthood is just that funny! I'm right there with you! My 2 year olds received a toy electric guitar from a soon-to-be-ex-friend of mine (who is obviously NOT a parent). Too bad she didn't give me ear plugs to go with it. Almost as good as Aqua sand, only louder.

  2. LOL, thanks Mom to twins! I'm sure it's a combination of both exhaustion and my hilarity. ;)
    And the battery operated toys only get worse as they get older. Enjoy!

  3. I dont recall every reading this one! I was laughing outloud too - note to self hunt and kill aqua sand creater....lol

    - LBJ


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