May 21, 2012

Tattooed Mamas FTW

I got my first tattoo when I was 18 or 19. I was still living at home and had to pay my sister $5 to not tell my parents. And now, my parents have way more tattoos than I do. Tattoos have totally gone mainstream.

And am I bemoaning that fact? Am I a tattoo snob? Hell no! I love tattoos, on any and everyone. They're beautiful, meaningful, make a statement and are personal. Sure, there are a hell of a lot of crappy ones out there (hello, Ugliest Tattoos) but I think they are a great thing.

I know, I know. You don't think a tattoo will look good on your skin when you're 70 (psst... nothing will look good at 70, sorry). You don't like any image enough to have it permanently on your skin. There are lots of reasons people always give to not tattoo- but here's the thing:

So, without further ado, here are my tattoos.

Shoulder, left
Left ankle.

Chest, right (cover up of my first 2 tattoos)

Shoulder, right. 
And if you're not on Twitter, you are fortunate to have missed my hours long whiny #tattootweet fest as  I got my Mother's Day present. I H.A.T.E. getting tattoos- it hurts. If you haven't gotten one, it feels like exactly what it is- a needle stabbing you a million times and being dragged over your skin. It's not fun. Thank you so much to my Twitter pals for keeping me company. I really appreciated it!

So, what about you? Do you tattoo? I'd love to see- leave your links in the comments below!

May 11, 2012

What I Want For Mother's Day? Not What You Think

I've been thinking (fantasizing) for a while about what I want for Mother's Day. Sadly, since we homeschool, my kids won't be coming home with any adorable hand print cards or flower shaped coupon books. Not Blessed Dad usually doesn't drop the ball, but he's a dude. Sunday morning he'll go get me some flowers from the grocery store, or ask me what I want to do. I remember one year he went into the playroom to clean it, and came out after about 5 minutes- looking bewildered and frightened. He tries (usually), but you know- he's a dude.

Of course, I want all the normal things moms want for Mother's Day. A tricked out mini-van, a clean house, flowers and candy and a meal I don't have to cook. I want all of those things too. But I realized there were other things I wanted more....

I don't want to make any macaroni and cheese. I don't want to wipe popsicle off the floor. I don't want to referee any fights. I don't want to say any of these phrases: Speak nicely, be kind, touch nicely, no hitting, please share, be gentle, or let me help you. I don't want to do any laundry, get anyone clean underwear, or find any missing flip flops. I don't want to brush anyone's hair. I don't want to hear "Moooooooooooooommmmmmm" five million times. I don't want anyone to treat my gut like a bounce house.

I guess it all boils down to what I want most of all. For Mother's Day, I DON'T WANT TO BE A MOM.

Hold on, hold on. Don't get me wrong. My kids are the sun, moon and stars to me. They're my life, and that's the way I like it. I treasure them- but god dammit, I just need to get away from them. I need to be me for a little while. I need quiet, I need peace, I need to be treated like an adult. I want to do what I want to do- and I don't even know what that is, but it's definitely not watching My Little Pony or pushing someone on a swing for a gazillion hours. Just for a day.

So children, I love you more than anything. But please, for Mother's Day- GTFO. 

Am I a horrible mom for thinking this? What do YOU want for Mother's Day?

May 4, 2012

But They Look So Normal... (Or, Homeschooling)

While at the dentist the other day, the hygienist asked Spawn#2 if her brothers were at school. *Insert pregnant pause where Spawn#2 looks at me for guidance in how to answer.* "We homeschool," I smoothly replied.

Double take. That second look where the hygienist tries to see how she could miss that we were some of those weird homeschoolers. The kid looks normal! We're wearing jeans and flip flops. No crosses in sight. She just can't believe her eyes.

I gotta tell you, I don't think I'll ever quit loving that moment. That moment when we reveal our dirty little secret to someone, and watch them think- BUT THEY LOOK SO NORMAL!

And yup, we are... uh, normal. Well, our weirdness doesn't come from homeschooling. But I digress.

Your friendly neighborhood Not Blessed Mama is here to break it down for you. Want to know about crazy homeschoolers? I'm here for you. Here are some questions I've been asked recently:

1. Are all of your kids friends homeschoolers too? Not all, but a lot. We like to do stuff during the week, during the day. Everything's less crowded and more awesome.

2. What do you do for school? Some people like to do a "classroom at home" approach. Some people unschool and never do any workbooks at all. We're in the middle. We belong to a charter to get funds for supplies and classes, and we're supervised by a teacher. But I chose what to teach, when and how.

3. What do you do for a living? THIS. This is my job- I've stayed home since Spawn#3 was born 11 years ago. A post on how to afford staying home is coming up in the near future (read: how to be broke all the time).

4. How do you manage being with the kids all the time? Sometimes, I don't. Yesterday I locked myself in the bathroom and pretended to poop so I could have quiet for 5 minutes. I sat and read a book on the toilet until I could manage to look at the kids again.

5. Why do you homeschool? Do your kids have special needs? I've gotta admit, this one threw me for a loop. I homeschool for many reasons- so many, it would be hard to list. But my kids are just normal ol' kids, and I decided that homeschooling would be the best choice for us.

6. Do you homeschool to keep your kids sheltered? Uh, my kids have been around the block. No sheltering going on here. Spawn#3 was able to spell ass when he was 3 years old. (He's special.)

And there you have it! I hope that gives you a little bit more insight into the confusing, murky world of homeschooling. If you have more questions, leave them in the comments below. I'd be happy to answer in the least sarcastic way possible.

Some paper we made for a presentation. Whee, learning is fun!

Hey, want to read more homeschooling propaganda? Check out my friend's new blog- The Homeschooling Atheist!
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