December 11, 2012

It's Not you, It's Me- But For Reals This Time

Almost two years ago, I had my heart broken.

I hate to talk about it. It killed me. I was like Bella in Twilight when Edward left her and she was all ridiculously mopey every day, but at least I had the decency to hold it all inside. A friend I really loved, someone I had been friends with for many years, dumped me. She decided I wasn't right for her- and it broke me. It shattered my heart into a million pieces. I couldn't believe the pain- and it lingered, that bastard. It was months and months before I could think about her and not get tears in my eyes and that aching hole back in my chest.

And I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want to seem weak and ridiculous. I didn't want my other friends to think they weren't important to me. I didn't want to feel the pain all of the time. I just tried to lock it away, and hide it, and deal with it. Which meant crying at night and feeling utterly alone and broken, but, you know. It was what I could do.

Why am I telling you all this now, you may be wondering? My friend encouraged me to start blogging. She even came up with the name of this blog for me. And slowly, I just couldn't deal with my little blog anymore. My dear, sweet little blog that I always loved. That I nurtured and grew and was mine, I just wasn't interested anymore. I limped along for as long as I could, posting infrequently and giving a half-hearted effort. And then about 5 months ago, I just quit. And guess what?


I missed you so bad. I wanted to come back and write for you and chat with you and make you smile. I wanted to come back to my little piece of the internet- my corner, where I could do and say what I wanted and it was special because it was you and me. In this small, silly space. And it was hard, but I'm back. Because I love you. Did you know that? I really do. Every comment, every click- I cherish them.

And I'd like to thank my bloggy friends for supporting me, and for never giving up on me... My MamihoodDeBie HiveGrass OilIt's A Dome LifeWorld's Worst Moms, Renegade Mothering, One Chunky Mama, and all of the other lovely people that I adore who now hate me for forgetting them.

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