April 25, 2011

Ok, Cut Me Some Slack

So it is not technically Easter and Spawn#2's birthday anymore, but I had a busy day. Give me a break!
But I couldn't let her birthday pass without the obligatory then-and-now pictures to gush over her cuteness.

That was then:

This is now:

Now, I'm not saying she's not a naughty little stink pot- but these are the first words she said to me this morning (on her birthday, mind you)- "Mom, I really love you a lot. If anything ever happened to you, I would be so sad. Because I love you so much." AWWWWW! It's like she's trying to get her brothers written out of the will already. (It's working honey, but don't tell them!)

Birthday Madness Month is finally OV-AH! April is a crazy-psychotic-busy month for us, but it is a fun one and we enjoyed it. Parties, movies, Chuck E Cheese (did you know they're open on Easter?!) and Easter fun with the family. April, you were great. Feel free to take a flying leap and get out of here until next year, so I can sleep.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday with your loved ones. 

April 22, 2011

Happy Hippie Day!

Everyone knows that Not Blessed Mama is one of those Earth lovin' tree huggin' hairy legged hippies. Everyday is Earth Day in the N.B.M. household- we do what we can year round. But I realize that today is the day for lecturing the people driving in their Hummers and NOT hugging trees, so I feel it's important to do my part.
So, would you like to know what the environmentally friendly N.B.M. family is doing this Earth Day?
Going shopping.
That's right, going shopping. But not just anywhere- we're going thrift store shopping, one of my favorite past times. If you don't thrift- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Get on it! There are a ton of reasons to shop second hand (not to mention it's super cool and trendy these days).
-You'll be saving the planet (duh!). My number one rule for being green is to reduce. If I can keep something out of a landfill for a little longer- go me!
- You can buy stuff for super cheap. The cost of everything, including breathing, is expected to go up this year. Don't waste money on a new pair of Gap jeans when you could be saving it for something else- like food. Which is also getting more expensive.
- Many items in thrift stores are as good as new. My Spawn destroy their clothing 5 seconds after they put it on. I'd be very upset to see a new $15 dress stained with mud. A new $2 dress? Eh.
- Resale, baby. At a thrift store once, I bought a pair of Hanna Andersson tights for less than $2. When we were done with them, I sold them on E-bay for over $20. Not only do you get to enjoy name brands for less, you may make a buck off of your purchases as well.
- Take it back! Most thrift stores accept donations on site. When you go shopping, take in a bag of your cast-offs. Now you're being charitable AND green. You're so awesome.

Here's Spawn#3 in a recent thrift purchase: total for the outfit, $.99. 

So get out there and do your part by shopping! Mother Earth will thank you for it.

April 19, 2011

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

My dear readers, I need to ask you for a favor. 

I need you to join me in a party- a white trash lawn party.

You see, I just got an e-mail from my landlady stating that we were in violation of a neighborhood nuisance code for having "Outdoor storage and accumulation of miscellaneous junk, trash, rubbish, and debris discarded on the premises creating a public nuisance to the neighborhood". She lives in a different city, so that means one of our neighbors reported us and it got sent to her. 
Here's a picture of my house this morning:

Last week there were a few items by our garbage cans. On the side of the house, almost out of sight. So if the neighbors think that was a public nuisance, I am sure as hell ready to show them what a public nuisance really is. It's time for a white trash lawn party! Have any broken down cars we can park on the lawn? Bring your ice chests full of Blue Ribbon. Make sure to wear white t-shirts so I can spray you down with the hose in the First Annual Not Blessed Mama Wet T-Shirt Contest. Prizes include pissing off my uptight neighbors!
Actually, I should probably apologize to the "old hag" (the kids chose that nickname for her- but I must admit it fits). I'm sure it's very hard on her having someone live next door to her who is not an upper middle class snotty white couple like every one else in this damn neighborhood. Guess what, Old Hag. I am going to play outside with my kids. There are going to be bikes and screaming and popsicle sticks. It's just the way things are going to be, so get your head out of your ass and have a great day. 

April 12, 2011

Gone Fishin'

As you may have noticed, we have a few birthdays going on. We have one big party for the Spawn every April, and I'm preparing for it right now- well, trying. It is becoming readily apparent that if I cleaned more than once a year, the task wouldn't be so daunting.
Therefore, Not Blessed Mama will be on hiatus this week as she scrubs and cooks and cleans and is generally just miserable. I will miss all my mama friends dearly and look forward to reconnecting with you next week, if I survive.

Spawn#3. In a tree.

April 8, 2011

It's Birthday Month Around Here....

First, Spawn#3 was at the end of March. Spawn#2's big day is fast approaching. But today, the original Spawn (my baby) turned ten.


Somehow, this sweet little innocent thing:

Turned into this giant, huge monster of a man-child:
He'll be as tall as me soon. He can wear his Aunt and Grandma's shoes. He's naughty, sarcastic, sassy, silly and I love that rotten stinking kid. Words can't express what you feel for your firstborn child. It's not more, it's not better, it's just different. Lova ya, kid. 

April 1, 2011

{this moment}

Last night, I went to flush the toilet. Several boys had gone to the bathroom.
Something bad happened.
I will leave it up to your imagination. Then Not Blessed Daddy yelled for me to plunge the toilet and went back to sleep. Then I went and beat him in the face with the dirty plunger.
Then Spawn#3 woke up with a fever and needed to be held.
It was a long night.
Then I finally laid down and my nipple started hurting. My mind raced- mastitis? Thrush?

Nope. Lego crystal. In my bra.
I wish this was an April Fools Joke. It's not. April 1st, I hate you.
The End.
Related Posts with Thumbnails