August 31, 2011

Not Blessed Mama's Unwanted And Unsolicited Product Review: Instagram

I do not take nice pictures. I am not interested in taking wonderful pictures. I just want to take a picture, have my kids look good, and move on with my life. Sadly, it doesn't always work that way, and I'm stuck with a bunch of crappy pictures.

Fortunately, that life changing device that I like to call my iPhone has the perfect solution. What can't an iPhone do? Seriously, if you don't have an iPhone, it will change your life. Now that that's out of the way, if you have an iPhone, you need to check out Instagram.

Instagram is a free app that has been blowing up in popularity. It's a camera app that allows you to add different effects to your photos after you take them. Hipstamatic is a similar app, but I'm pretty sure I paid for Hipstamatic and you have to choose the lense and filter before you take the pic (and sometimes your choice is not ideal).

Here's a pic I took of Spawn#2 that didn't turn out too well. I wanted to get a pic of her cute new outfit, but she was in a rush and didn't feel like posing. The results were less than stellar.

After importing the picture to Instagram and adding a cool filter, the pic looked much better. Arty, defined, sharper. I love the results!

Here are a few more examples.

I highly recommend you check out Instagram so you can pretend to be an arty, farty photographer like me. Instagram also allows you to easily share your photos on social networking sites as well (like Twitter!), and we all know how important that is to bloggers.

As usual, no one provided me with any free products for this review- and since Instagram is free, I guess that wouldn't make sense anyway. Also, as usual, if anyone has any free cool stuff, send it my way, would ya?

August 24, 2011

The Bad Mom Movement

Not too long ago, I tweeted this:

When I wrote this, I was not joking. Spawn#3 was screaming at me for some ridiculous reason (maybe we were out of bread or something), and he stomped out the door and slammed the screen. It's one of his favorite new hobbies- super charming. That thought I had was so ugly and yucky, I hesitated before I tweeted it. Ultimately I had to adhere to the Not Blessed Mama policy of keepin' it real, so I tweeted my bad mothering skills out into the internets. 

And wouldn't you know- I got a positive response. And not just one, but several.

One mama sympathized that she had been there, done that. Another friend tweeted that she wished that every day about her dogs. I got a couple re-tweets. And this is why I love the bad mom movement.

Back when Spawn#1 was born (ten whole years ago), there was no blogging community or Twitter. I struggled through being a new mother mostly on my own. Well, you know what? Being a mom is hard. IT'S HARD. Every day, us moms are juggling 5 million things on our to do list, on top of raising and nurturing and feeding children, trying our best to make sure they don't grow up to be total assholes. Oh yeah, and don't forget trying to remain a person, not just a Mom. It's a lot of work. It's exhausting. And sometimes, it just sucks.

These days, when the Spawn are acting like baby jerks, I can jump on Twitter and get sympathy from my online friends. I can write a blog post and share the pictures of when Spawn#3 dumped red paint all over the floor so he could paint his body with it. I can talk to my mamas about how. it. sucks. And, they get it. You get it. You know. You know it's never ending, and it's tiring, and it's frustrating and sometimes you lose yourself. You get all that. You also know why it's so awesome, and why we do it. You just get it. 

Never again will I smile my way through a hellacious day just to pretend that everything is okay. I will share and revel in not only the joys, but the big fat disappointments and screw ups too. Thank god for technology!

Bad moms unite!

August 19, 2011

My Birthday, My Anniversary, And My New Career

Yup yup! Today is my birthday- and my anniversary. 11 years ago, I said to my boyfriend, "Hey! Let's get married on my birthday!" And we did. The End.

I've been thinking about 11 years lately. Because, frankly, 11 years is a long ass time. And all of a sudden, BAM! It hit me- I had a new calling. Hallmark really needs someone to spice up their greeting card line. And here I am, ready, willing and able! I'd like to give you a little preview of what I'm sure is going to be my wildly successful greeting card line. In honor of today, I'm starting with anniversary cards.

And since you know how much Not Blessed Mama loves her precious readers, I will begin taking advance orders from you right now! I can even personalize the inside with a sentimental, handwritten message so you don't have to waste your time doing that kind of crap. I know I'd be thrilled to get an anniversary card with some strangers handwriting in it- it really shows how much you care, you know? I'm feeling really optimistic about this, so make sure you get your orders in today!

And I would be remiss if I didn't say Happy Anniversary, Not Blessed Daddy! 11 years IS a long ass time, and I still love you. 

August 17, 2011

The Money Post

I was not sure if I would ever write the money post. I've seen it written many times- life sucks, we're poor, the end. It's the same story over here. But I thought maybe we could look at being broke in a different light- a Not Blessed Mama one.

So, you're broke. 

Did you see that new Hello Kitty purse? Doesn't matter, can't afford it. 

Do you want to go out to eat tonight? Doesn't matter, can't afford it.

Do they have that maxi dress in my size? Doesn't matter, can't afford it.

Did you hear about the Netflix price hike? Doesn't matter, can't afford it.

Did you get the new Ikea catalog? Doesn't matter, can't afford it. 

Did you see the new iPhone/Droid/Blackberry? Doesn't matter, can't afford it.

You see! When you don't have any money, life is so much simpler. Gone are the days of wasting your weekend shopping. Now is the time to stay at home, and enjoy your family. I find myself with so much more free time, now that I don't have to think about time-consuming things like vacations and going places. I never need to worry about the kids clothes and shoes being ratty, because I'm not buying any new ones. Another stock market crash? Pshaw! All of us smarties are out of money and security, and don't need to worry ourselves with such nonsense.

So, have you joined me in this new, carefree lifestyle? Let me know in the comments! Maybe we can start a club, and sing music and dance in a high school. Or something.

(Why do I feel depressed all of a sudden?)

August 11, 2011

How Much Do You Rely On The Internet?

For about the past week or so, our internet has been spotty. Spotty as in, it doesn't work half of the time. I'm not sure what the problem is yet- something about a conflict of IP addresses, and we just don't know yet. Not Blessed Daddy is supposed to give it a thorough overhaul this weekend.

It's amazing all I've been able to get done when I'm not on the computer! The housework and laundry are getting done- the kids have been playing outside more- I've been reading! I had no idea how much technology was hampering our lives. Being off-line has been awesome!

I'm totally lying. Life without technology is NOT WORTH LIVING.

I cannot function without the internet. First of all, there are all the practical things I'm missing- monitoring the bank account, checking e-mails and browsing our school's vendor list to order our homeschooling supplies. Then there's the social aspect- I miss my tweeps! I miss my blog. I want to see what crappy pictures of me people are tagging on Facebook. I want my friends! Waaaaaaa. I want to be able to log onto Amazon and look for those books I've been thinking about ordering. I want to check the Crocs website to see if anything I like is finally cheap enough for me to buy. I want my internet!

And the children! Doesn't anyone think about the children??? The Spawn already fight over one computer. Fighting over one computer with intermittent internet? Freaking brutal. BRUTAL.

So, I must say farewell, my dear mama friends. I hope the internet is still working when I'm done writing so I can post this. I miss you.I miss you all. Someday, we will be together again. For now we just have to be strong. Don't cry for me Argentina, and all that jazz.

August 5, 2011

August 3, 2011

I'm Comin' Out- World Breastfeeding Week

I have been thinking about "The Breastfeeding Post" for a while now. I knew it had to come, sooner or later. I've been hesitant- breastfeeding isn't something I discuss much. I don't like being judged by the Judgey McJudgersons out there, and I don't like receiving hate mail either (from this ill-fated post). So I've decided to just be quiet about my milk-making. Enjoy it and not talk about it, so I don't have people trying to send me on Dr. Phil for it. I hate Dr. Phil, by the way. But that's beside the point. (Although worth mentioning, I feel.)

I am Not Blessed Mama, and I have been proudly making milk for the last ten years.

Yup, you read that right- ten damn years. It all started with Spawn#1 back in April 2001. He was a great nurser- I feel so lucky to have had him give me a good start. And then I just kept going and going, like a lactating Energizer bunny. I've nursed through two pregnancies and tandem nursed after each of them. I've nursed in virtually every conceivable position and situation. On a train, on a plane, on a boat, on a goat. Well, not really on a goat- but you get it.

All of my kids have been 4 years old when they've stopped nursing. Yup, you read that right as well- over 4 years old. Sadly, my kids nursing careers didn't come with an expiration date, so we just quit when we were done. I know a lot of society doesn't get it, and they judge. And I hate those Judgey McJudgersons more than even Dr. Phil. Because something so beautiful, natural, wonderful and kick ass should not be judged. All mothers make the best choices for their own kids, and should never be judged because of it. Just as I would never judge a mother for formula feeding, I expect the same respect.

I'm coming to the end of my nursing career. Spawn#3 is nearing 4 and a half, and that's quittin' time for me. Sometimes I wonder what my life will be like when the milk is gone- how can I possibly be the same person? Heaven knows these old girls need a rest, but still. It's hard to imagine. Breastfeeding has been such an important part of our lives, it's gonna be hard to see it go.

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I would like to send my love out to all the breastfeeding moms out there.You are beautiful, awesome, wonderful women doing the best that you can for your babes. You deserve recognition! I wish I could give you something (Look under your chair! You get a car! And you get a car! Just kidding, you probably only have dustbunnies)- but all I can offer is my admiration, respect and support. Whether you nursed for 2 years, 2 months or 2 minutes, I salute you.
Related Posts with Thumbnails