When I wrote this, I was not joking. Spawn#3 was screaming at me for some ridiculous reason (maybe we were out of bread or something), and he stomped out the door and slammed the screen. It's one of his favorite new hobbies- super charming. That thought I had was so ugly and yucky, I hesitated before I tweeted it. Ultimately I had to adhere to the Not Blessed Mama policy of keepin' it real, so I tweeted my bad mothering skills out into the internets.
And wouldn't you know- I got a positive response. And not just one, but several.
One mama sympathized that she had been there, done that. Another friend tweeted that she wished that every day about her dogs. I got a couple re-tweets. And this is why I love the bad mom movement.
Back when Spawn#1 was born (ten whole years ago), there was no blogging community or Twitter. I struggled through being a new mother mostly on my own. Well, you know what? Being a mom is hard. IT'S HARD. Every day, us moms are juggling 5 million things on our to do list, on top of raising and nurturing and feeding children, trying our best to make sure they don't grow up to be total assholes. Oh yeah, and don't forget trying to remain a person, not just a Mom. It's a lot of work. It's exhausting. And sometimes, it just sucks.
These days, when the Spawn are acting like baby jerks, I can jump on Twitter and get sympathy from my online friends. I can write a blog post and share the pictures of when Spawn#3 dumped red paint all over the floor so he could paint his body with it. I can talk to my mamas about how. it. sucks. And, they get it. You get it. You know. You know it's never ending, and it's tiring, and it's frustrating and sometimes you lose yourself. You get all that. You also know why it's so awesome, and why we do it. You just get it.
Never again will I smile my way through a hellacious day just to pretend that everything is okay. I will share and revel in not only the joys, but the big fat disappointments and screw ups too. Thank god for technology!
Bad moms unite!
I love it! So, so true! Although my frog princess is generally great, I pause before any crazy comments afraid someone will call DCF on me!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough job but like you said, completely awesome at the same time!
Seriously... it IS hard!! I am glad for the online community too. I had to suppress the urge to say something really nasty to one of mine the other day and so as I read this I felt a little better knowing I am not the only one having those thoughts. Thanks for keepin' it real!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy suppress it? I remind my children regularly I could trade them to the gypsies for a shiney new quarter! They laugh it off and think I'm kidding. Little do they know, I have them on speed dial. ;0)
ReplyDeleteI often say I really understand why some animals eat their young. I love them, but DAMN they can drive a person crazy!
ReplyDeleteI love it real. I love that you tweeted that! Wish I had caught it, I would have been sympathizing with you. I have a "pain-in-the-ass" spawn, and several times a day I think "I don't even like him!"
ReplyDeleteYeah, don't keep it in. Let it all out, sista! You'll feel a whole lot better that way :)
ReplyDeleteAs moms we all have those moments. Don't believe those who say they don't. As much as I love my little Miss Chatterbox, there were days when I told her straight out, "I don't feel like seeing you, right now. I'm so angry with what you've done, I need to calm down. Go to your room."
That's what blogging has done for me... as a way to channel out my frustrations, my ramblings and rants, all the sillies, the bad, and the sad. It's great to share with others, who despite never having met, can empathize with how we feel.
You go, girl!
I wish more of us could be real. No one or thing is wonderful all the time yet too many Moms feel they must suppress the desire to share that some days their kids drive them mad! It's real and it's honest and I think it's good to let those feelings and thoughts out rather than to bottle them up.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I write something on my blog that leaves me thinking "this is going to get CPS called on me and I'm going to lose my kids and regret this for the rest of my miserable life (which I'll be spending under a bridge since my husband will leave me for causing the kids to go away)" - I get the highest number of women responding "Dude. Totally been there."
ReplyDeleteAnd I realize none of us should be trusted with children and all of us are complete fucking psychos. Some of us just hide it better than others.
And that's all just as it should be.