But They Look So Normal... (Or, Homeschooling)

Tweet While at the dentist the other day, the hygienist asked Spawn#2 if her brothers were at school. *Insert pregnant pause where Spawn#2 looks at me for guidance in how to answer.* "We homeschool," I smoothly replied.

Double take. That second look where the hygienist tries to see how she could miss that we were some of those weird homeschoolers. The kid looks normal! We're wearing jeans and flip flops. No crosses in sight. She just can't believe her eyes.

I gotta tell you, I don't think I'll ever quit loving that moment. That moment when we reveal our dirty little secret to someone, and watch them think- BUT THEY LOOK SO NORMAL!

And yup, we are... uh, normal. Well, our weirdness doesn't come from homeschooling. But I digress.

Your friendly neighborhood Not Blessed Mama is here to break it down for you. Want to know about crazy homeschoolers? I'm here for you. Here are some questions I've been asked recently:

1. Are all of your kids friends homeschoolers too? Not all, but a lot. We like to do stuff during the week, during the day. Everything's less crowded and more awesome.

2. What do you do for school? Some people like to do a "classroom at home" approach. Some people unschool and never do any workbooks at all. We're in the middle. We belong to a charter to get funds for supplies and classes, and we're supervised by a teacher. But I chose what to teach, when and how.

3. What do you do for a living? THIS. This is my job- I've stayed home since Spawn#3 was born 11 years ago. A post on how to afford staying home is coming up in the near future (read: how to be broke all the time).

4. How do you manage being with the kids all the time? Sometimes, I don't. Yesterday I locked myself in the bathroom and pretended to poop so I could have quiet for 5 minutes. I sat and read a book on the toilet until I could manage to look at the kids again.

5. Why do you homeschool? Do your kids have special needs? I've gotta admit, this one threw me for a loop. I homeschool for many reasons- so many, it would be hard to list. But my kids are just normal ol' kids, and I decided that homeschooling would be the best choice for us.

6. Do you homeschool to keep your kids sheltered? Uh, my kids have been around the block. No sheltering going on here. Spawn#3 was able to spell ass when he was 3 years old. (He's special.)

And there you have it! I hope that gives you a little bit more insight into the confusing, murky world of homeschooling. If you have more questions, leave them in the comments below. I'd be happy to answer in the least sarcastic way possible.

Some paper we made for a presentation. Whee, learning is fun!

Hey, want to read more homeschooling propaganda? Check out my friend's new blog- The Homeschooling Atheist!

Not Blessed Mama's Unwanted and Unsolicited Product Review: Bio Sphere Living Ecosystem

Tweet It's not often that I stumble upon a product that makes me want to sing it's praises to high heaven. (Not since the glorious Suave Dry Shampoo post. And do you want to know what Suave said when I e-mailed them that I wrote a slightly wildly popular blog post about them? "Thanks! Sign up for our mailing list to receive special offers and information!" Bastards.) Anywho, recently we ordered something I am totally in love with. And of course, I had to share it with you, my dear mama friends.

You know that we love pets in the Not Blessed household. You've seen our guinea pigs and cyborg cat, and if you didn't, that's a shame because I am too lazy to go dig up the pictures. But animals are a lot of work- kind of like children. You feed them, you clean up their poop, and all they do is make a mess and look cute. And make lots of irritating noises.

Well, Not Blessed Mama is SO TIRED OF CLEANING UP POOP. There's poop everywhere. Guinea pig poop, fish poop, cat poop, and if I'm unlucky, human poop. So much poop. Definitely too much.

 Enter our new "pets":

It's the Bio Sphere Living Ecosystem from Hearthsong. Look! It's cute little tiny shrimps, living in a sealed container. No feeding- no pooping- no dying- just cute little shrimps swimming around! It's a little pricey at thirty dollars, but it sure as hell is worth it to have some animals in the house that won't stink up the place and rip holes in your sofa.

And these things are hardy. I accidentally left them outside overnight (or two nights) (or three) when I was trying to get them some indirect sunlight, and they survived. The only thing you have to do for these suckers is open the sphere once a month for the first 3 months to give them some air- and that's it! The directions said they live a long time too, like 4 years. I'm not sure exactly how long, since we spilled water on the directions and tossed them. I don't even really know what they eat, which kind of makes me a failure since this was bought with my homeschool funds. But forget all that! Do not buy your kid a cat- or a guinea pig- or a dog. Buy them some friendly little crustaceans and enjoy the easy life of a shrimp owner.

This is not a paid or sponsored post. Bio Sphere and Hearthsong do not know me- please do not tell them I am writing about them, or they'd probably send me a cease-and-desist letter. 

A Day In The Life: Not Blessed Mama Edition

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Not too long ago, I saw my pal Razing Mayhem say that she was going to participate in a photo challenge- and I'm way too lazy to go back and look at what it was or who started it, but it was something along the lines of taking a picture every hour for one day.

I know that you, my loyal reader, must be very fascinated by Not Blessed Mama's rock-star lifestyle. I know you're just wondering every day- what's N.B.M. doing? Where is she today? What's she wearing, who's she with? I am here to answer your burning questions, my dears. Because I love you, and that's what I do. Here is a day in the life of the Not Blessed family. (Okay, all these pics were not taken exactly one hour apart- I'm not a robot. But I tried.)

9 a.m.

Since we co-sleep, I am awakened each morning with a loving smile. I then roll over and tell that loving smile that I am still tired, and to leave me alone.

10 a.m.

I always make sure my kids start the day with a nutritious breakfast, like an ice cream sandwich. You think I'm kidding.

11 a.m.

We're playing with these kid's meal toys from Sonic. Tot-dinosaurs. What crackhead designed these?

12 p.m.

Come to mama, delicious caffeinated beverage. You have no idea how much I enjoyed this. (Or how I'm still wide awake at 2 a.m.- thanks, caffeine.)

1 p.m.

Homeschooling- my kids love workbooks so much, they eat them up! Like, literally gnawing!

                                          

2 p.m.

Enjoying the internet. There's my Facebook page, my Words With Friends (username notblessedmama), and a Twitter conversation I greatly enjoyed.  Genie In a Blog called Dr. Pepper "DP"- much to my shock and delight. An interesting conversation ensued, which ended with Dr. Pepper following me, which made me self conscious about the DP jokes.

3 p.m.
Play-Doh kitties. Don't judge the messy hair and dirty fingernails, she didn't go anywhere.

4 p.m.
Snuggle time. I suppose you can tell who is the mama's boy in this house.

5 p.m.
What he would do all day and all night (every day), if I let him.

6 p.m.
 Pancakes for dinner- you didn't exactly catch me on a proud food day.

7 p.m.
Putting my feet up, playing Words With Friends.

8 p.m.
 Rewarding myself with my Subway card from Klout Perks. Spawn#3 insisted on wearing red white and blue swim trunks, an orange shirt with some peyote inspired desert scene, and a plastic bag as an Adventure Time backpack. The writing on his arm is a watch.

9 p.m.
What's on my table: markers, drawings, popcorn and a cat.

10 p.m.
Yeah, my kids sleep until 9 in the morning- but that means this is what they look like at 10 at night.

11 p.m.
Cleaning the guinea pig cage at 11- because what else would I be doing? Sleeping?

12 a.m.
 Got up after the kids went to sleep to do the dishes- decided to stick my head in the oven instead.

1 a.m.

 Me bloggin' it up for you, and loving my 2nd best friend (everyone knows my iPhone holds they key to my heart).

2-4 a.m.

No photos- Instagram quit exporting my pictures, and then Blogger quit letting me insert said pictures where I desired. It was not pretty.

And that's it! An exciting peek into the life of Not Blessed Mama. Hope you enjoyed it!









Five Things That Homeschoolers Would Rather You Not Say To Them

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I guess the secret's out that we're homeschoolers. It's not really a secret, I just don't feel the need to shout it from the rooftops. Want to know why? This is what I get in return:

5. I didn't know you homeschooled! (This is always said while the speaker throws furtive glances at my Spawn, wondering how they could have missed the warning signs.) Amazing, huh?  My kids almost look normal! Blending in is part of our daily curriculum.
4. I knew someone who was homeschooled, and he was totally anti-social. Everyone knows that one person who homeschooled- and more often than not, they're weird freaks who can't function in society. Do you know anyone who went to public school who is anti-social or shy? 'Cause I do.
3. I could never homeschool my kids because they are smarter than me! Umm.... you may have some issues you need to work on.
2. I could never be around my child that much! I'd go crazy. Well, all homeschooling parents are born with an extra chromosome on the 24th pair called sympatheticus extremus. It makes it remarkably easy to be with your kids 24/7, and you never get irritated at them or want to beat the beejebus out of them.


AND THE NUMBER ONE THING TO NEVER SAY TO A HOMESCHOOLER IIISSSSSSS....

1. Aren't you worried about socialization? Every homeschooler has gotten this remark at least once. When you ask a homeschooler this, they must fight to control the urge to punch you in the eye. Homeschooled kids are socialized, just like any other child. Some are shy- some are loud. Some have lots of friends- some have a few close friends. Homeschoolers get socialization from family members, errand running, homeschool play dates, park outings, museum trips, and 500 other ways. It is so easy to be socialized. So easy, it's probably the least important reason I can think of not to homeschool.

Now you are all set to deal with the homeschoolers you may meet in your every day life. Just remember: maintain eye contact, stand tall, and don't be scared- because we can smell fear.
Just kidding! *sniff sniff*

September, I Hardly Knew Ye

Tweet Does anyone know what happened to September? The other day, I was planning Halloween costumes ridiculously early. Now it is October (4th!) and I'm sure I'll be scrambling to finish sewing at the last minute (as always). Here's a glimpse into our September. 

Almost no fall foliage for us yet, but we have some lovely

morning glories and zinnias. 

Oh why did I let him get that haircut! I could have squeezed out 

another 6 months of babyness from him. 

Spawn#2 modeled a dress she made and Spawn #3 gave a talk

about a custom Bionicle he created.

Spiderman, a Princess and a Zombie.

The annual Homeschooling picnic has something for everyone.