Now, you have heard me complain about my Spawn before, but in reality I think they're pretty normal, average, rotten children. We go places- sometimes it sucks, mostly it's fine. But the post office. *shudder* What is it about the post office? It's like a full moon to a werewolf, but for children. The second we approach the door the Spawn are racing in, elbowing each other for first place- what's the prize? Apparently only dirty looks from senior citizens. As we took our place in line I quietly threatened the Spawn with serious bodily harm if they did not stand next to me and be quiet. Why is that place so quiet? Why does it echo so much? Every move makes a huge sound- and when the Spawn make huge noises, it's echoed around the world.
As we stood in line, the Spawn did everything they could to make sure every one in the place was staring at us. Stomp their feet, push each other, argue loudly about who gets to hold the packages, throw toys on the floor. To make it even better, we were all slobby with un-brushed hair after having a lazy day at home. Maybe people thought we were wild people from the forest and it was the first time we had been in a building?
I finally completed my transaction, and waited for Spawn#2 to put my last package in the drop slot. Waiting, waiting, waiting.... "Mommy, it's not working." Well of course it had gotten jammed on my last package! I grabbed a postal employee to let them know, so 50 people wouldn't be smashing my box while trying to get the drawer open. He quickly ran in the back to check- I imagine he'd probably have done anything to get us out of there.
This is Spawn#1 before we went in. I suppose I should have known how awful it would be if he was preparing for battle.
I'm not sure my daughter has ever even SEEN the inside of the post office >.> For exactly this reason! I think they have some kind of machine that sucks the sound from the lobby and waiting area, and pretty sure it sucks the fun out of the place too. Now we all know why people use the term "postal" those people do not even TRY to look happy, and buddy if I was dragging in their paychecks, I think I could manage a smile.
ReplyDeleteMy take on the post office? If I have to stand in line for more than 5 minutes, I let the kids loose to run wild and bother as many people as possible. Serves them right for taking their f'ing sweet time.
ReplyDeleteAck. Yeah, I hate taking my kids in the post office. I try to get that done while they are in school for my sanity.
ReplyDeleteWe got even with the Post Office (accidently). My son was sick and I had a doctors appt for him. First we had to stop at the post office though. While waiting in line he informed me that he really didn't feel well. Then proceeded to start throwing up. I rushed him out the door and he puked all over their bushes.
ReplyDeleteWe went to the doctor afterwards and found out he had H1N1 Flu. So I'm sure he shared those germs at the PO too. Ooops!
Hopefully you won't see any of the Spawn's pictures on the wanted posters in the future.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip on the cottage pie vs. the shepards pie. I never knew that but being a foodie I love those little random facts:) Ugh....don't even get me started on the post office. My husband and I used to live in Brooklyn NY and NOTHING could compare to the post office nightmares from there!
ReplyDeletei am glad to know i am not the only one! after reading all your comments, i realized that i can't even remember ever seeing any other kids in the post office! moms are too smart.
ReplyDeleteWow! Glad B ran my Dad "oh spit I forgot my..." package in and didn't drag me along. Tis the season for postal insanity. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't dare enter the post office without a helmet just like that! Forest people! HA!
ReplyDeleteTwo things- I need a helmet and you just reminded me why I send my hubby and assistant to the Post Office... just in time for the holidays
ReplyDeleteAwesome
Ro
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