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This post was inspired by Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A Time, one of my favorite blogs. I've had a rough couple of days. Some carefully worded letters are definitely in order.
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Dear Husband,
Maybe you hadn't noticed that I have been laying flat on my back for the past week? 'Member that? How I hurt my back and can barely walk? Hey, do you think that may have anything to do with the fact that the house is a disaster? Hmm... something to think about.
Love, Your Wife
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Dear Spawn,
Dumping beer in the pool is never appropriate. For an odd reason, I feel this goes without saying.
Love, Your Mother
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Dear Grandmother,
I like having my car overflowing with junk. If we are ever trapped in a ravine for a week, we will not only be well fed but also well entertained. And we will probably have several changes of clothes as well.
Love, Your Granddaughter
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Dear Neighbors,
No need to call the authorities. The Spawn were only screaming, "OH GOD, SHE'S DEAD, SHE'S DEAD, OH MY GOD", because they thought the guinea pig was gone. Nothing to look at here. Close your blinds and go back to bed.
Love, Your Neighbor
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Dear Employer of my Husband,
I would like to respectfully submit that you take the proposed idea of 20% pay cuts and kindly shove it up your asses, as my husband was grossly under-paid to begin with.
Love, A Broke Wife
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Writing letters is really therapeutic. Any you'd like to share?
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Addendum:
Dear Automobiles,
You both really suck for breaking down in the same week.
No Love, The Driver
giggles...love this!
ReplyDeleteit really was therapeutic! and it saved me all that money i would have spent seeing a therapist. :P
ReplyDeleteThey all had them comin'! LOL
ReplyDeleteSeriously, sorry your week sucked so much ass. Itsn't it a pain to know lives can have such a big one to suck? I hope next week is better. :'0( (((hugs))) ;0)
Dear nasty flu,
ReplyDeleteCouldn't you have picked someone who doesn't have a teething 7 month old monster baby to inflict your wrath upon? And further, could you have at least spare daddy so he could assist in caring for said monster baby while mommy sleeps in the fetal position next to the toilet?
-Sick mommy
Aww, sorry sick mommy. It can always be worse- I am grateful not to be kissing the porcelain god during this hellacious week I am having, that's for sure! Get better soon!
ReplyDeleteBeer in the pool? Yeah, that would tick me off too.
ReplyDelete