{this moment}

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Proof...

that opposites attract. 

Send help, please. Happy Friday!

Wordless Wednesday And A Few Words: No, That's Not Blood

Tweet I found some oldie but goodie pics when transferring files between computers-

It's really true- if you are busy taking a photograph, you are much less likely to beat your children .

Not Blessed Mama's Unwanted And Unsolicited Product Review: The KwikSip

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So, if you are a regular reader (I love you, regular readers) of Not Blessed Mama, you may know I have a slight affinity for As Seen On TV products. I just love weird stuff- and of course, I just love to write about weird stuff. I'm also thinking, if I keep writing about weird stuff, eventually some company is bound to send me one of their weird products. I can dream.

The other day I saw this gem on television- The KwikSip. An invention so groundbreaking, it claims to be THE GREATEST INVENTION SINCE INDOOR PLUMBING. Quite a claim to make, no? The idea is you snap this little spigot onto your faucet to turn it into a drinking fountain.

Are. You. Kidding. Me? It only took me about 2 seconds into this commercial to realize immediately what this would turn into- a device to turn the kitchen (or bathroom) into a water park. I bet it would take the Spawn even less time to figure out how to squirt each other with this. Really, KwikSip? Don't you have any mothers working for your company? They would have given you the heads up about what a ridiculous idea this is. I thoroughly read the website to see what guarantee they offer that my Spawn will not shoot water into the nearest electrical socket, and there was none. See how high the water shoots in that last pic? No thanks. 

Please note, Not Blessed Mama does not own the KwikSip. I am simply judging it's ridiculousness based on it's commercials. To the makers of KwikSip: if you would like to send me your ridiculous product to give a fair (ridiculous) review to, drop me a line. 

Am I Really Going To Blog About Cleaning Again?

Tweet Yes, I really am going to blog about cleaning again. I know I've done it here and complained about laundry here and I even guest blogged about it here. But I can't stop complaining- cleaning is the bane of my existence. It darkens my days and haunts my nights- or something like that.
The holidays were especially brutal, which is normal- but my genius idea to replace the flooring in my living room right after Christmas really compounded matters. My house looked something like this-

Of course this isn't actually my house, my house was much worse than this. To this day we still barely have a room that you can walk through, and the poor Spawn are out of clean clothes. I actually encouraged Spawn#3 to wear his Transformers costume to the store today so I wouldn't have to go searching for clothes.

SO, my question is this- Mothers, how do you keep your houses clean? And don't go giving me the same old advice- I've tried all the stand-bys like threatening physical violence, duct tape, etc. I know there is some secret that I do not know. There has to be. Can't someone clue me in? When I go to other people's houses you can see their floors. How can one attain such a state of nirvana that is clean floors?

Other than cleaning all day and bitching at your kids, that is. I've tried those too. There's got to be a better way. 

The Fish Tank Mystery

Tweet The Spawn stayed up way too late tonight..... waaaaaay to late. I dragged myself out of bed around 12:45am and wasted spent an hour on the internet. Around 2 I decided I wasn't going to get any work done and I should just go to bed (late nights aren't unusual for me; Spawn-free time is vital to my sanity!), and that's when things started getting interesting. On my way to bed I noticed something fishy (hehehe) going on in the fish tank..... there was something really weird happening in there....

Notice all those floofy looking things on the bottom and stuck to the filters? Yeah, I couldn't figure out what they were either. I looked and looked and pondered and puzzled...... and finally realized they were......

CORNFLAKES.

Yup, Spawn#3 dumped a good amount of cornflakes in the fish tank. Why? I'm sure we'll never know. It will be one of life's greatest mysteries. I bet that when I am on my death bed, my final thought will be, "Why oh why did Spawn#3 dump cornflakes in the fish tank?" I decided (regretfully) that cleaning out the cornflakes at 2 in the morning would be better than hearing Not Blessed Daddy cursing at 4 in the morning. Oh, and just because I couldn't believe that I was scooping cornflakes out of the fish tank at 2 in the morning, here's the proof:

I started scooping out the disgustingly mushy cereal and let me tell you, that eel would not leave me alone. I even fed the dang things so they'd let me scoop out the mess in peace. No such luck- they were probably on a sugar high, or developing fish diabetes. Not Blessed Mama does not do fish- that's all Daddy's hobby. N.B.M. doesn't touch slimy, icky things- it's just the way she is. So that eel was creepin' me out, big time. 

Leave me alone, eel!

Spawn#3, here is what i think of you dumping cornflakes in the fish tank:

I finally finished scooping out what I could- there was still a bunch of marine snow floating around, but hopefully I got enough out for the filters to do their job. And as I uploaded these pictures, I found this one of Spawn#3 being adorable...

Fortunately for him, it should be just enough to keep me from smothering him as I drag my fishy, stinky, tired self to bed. Consider yourself lucky, Spawn#3.