September 22, 2011

Raise Your Hand If You Pledge To Eat Schweddy Balls

You may have noticed that Not Blessed Mama is all about the social issues lately. I just feel that as an internet celebrity, I have certain responsibilities. I pledge to you that I will do my darndest to live up to your expectations. I owe it to you. Like I've always said, I'll never forget the little people.

Recently, Ben & Jerry's announced its newest flavor- Schweddy Balls, in honor of the infamous SNL skit with Alec Baldwin (seriously, if you haven't watched it- click the link. Hilarious). And almost immediately, a boycott was announced. One Million Moms has said that Schweddy Balls is too vulgar for something as innocent as ice cream- and they don't want their kids asking for it at the grocery store. Basically, if you buy this ice cream, you are contributing to the downfall of society. OMM is very upset with Ben & Jerry's for offending it's customers- like when they released the ice cream in support of gay marriage last year. Shameful!

Well, guess what, OMM. Jokes about balls are not ruining our society. Intolerant jerks are. Ball jokes are funny- so are jokes about farts, poops, and any other bathroom humor. It's just funny. Don't fight it. No point. Get used to it, and go focus your energy somewhere important.

That's why I'm starting another new initiative- OMM-WEB, One Million Moms Who Eat Balls. I will gladly pay to gobble up some Schweddy Balls. I'll let my kids eat Balls! I'll offer my husband Balls after dinner. And we'll all laugh about it, and then go on living our lives. Because jokes about balls are funny.

If you're interested in joining our movement, leave a comment below- or send me a tweet with the #OneMillionMomsWhoEatBalls hashtag. Granted,the hashtag is pretty long so you won't be able to say much- but we have to show our solidarity to the world. We must unite in the face of ridiculousness and say, "We are more ridiculous than you! We will not stand for your intolerance! And we have no shame, so we will embarrass you!" So far we have one member, but I know that our ranks will grow. Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can be the people who eat Schweddy Balls. God Bless America. The End.


  1. Okay, I'm not a mom so I suppose the hashtag doesn't apply to me so I'll reply here.

    /begin rant

    *pulls over soapbox* Ahem ... *clears throat*

    I'll give you that Schweddy Balls doesn't sound like the most appetizing thing in the world but oh my God the furor over a stupid ice cream name makes my brain hurt.

    What's wrong with people? Of all the things in the world to be upset about I think this ranks somewhere below broken fingernails and socks gone missing in the dryer.

    For the love of God people have a sense of humor and use your considerable power (there is strength in numbers) to crusade against poverty, hunger, domestic abuse, animal cruelty, any other of the million causes that are so much more devastating and important than the name of an ice cream flavor.

    *steps off soapbox*

    /end rant

  2. I'm currently trying to think of a witty slogan for our movement. It will be awesome, and I will probably think of it tonight at Back-To-School night. The hubby will be so proud when I yell it out in school!

  3. I eat Schweddy Balls!

  4. Also, I like the rant and I agree. I think non-moms will want to join in. I say if you have a vagina, you qualify. OMV-WEB? Would you reconsider? lmao

    Vaginas for Balls, 2011!

  5. >>> VFB, 2011 <<<

    *laughs* Imagine the bots THAT would pick up on Twitter. LOL

  6. I won't eat Schweddy Balls {because I'm picky about my ice cream}, but I am all for the existence of it!

  7. I will happily lick the carton of schweddy balls clean! Seriously people, we are grown ups we can HANDLE a little humor about balls. Really OMM we can.

    So when's #OneMillionMomsWhoEatBalls t-shirt coming?

  8. I proudly will join your movement, eat balls and LIKE it!

    Join in and BE-MAD (ball eating mothers against douchery!)


  9. I'm all about eating the balls...don't think B&J will suffer to much considering the ice cream is targeted for adults anyway.

  10. Are those malted schweddy balls? If so then I need to go by me some of that.

  11. So we've got VFB 2011 and BE-MAD.... excellent! T-shirts and bumper stickers coming up next!

  12. OH, and of course, we welcome any like minded individual to our movement! Regardless of gender. I should have made that clear! Everyone has a mother, even if they're not one.

  13. There is a boycott against this? That is fucking retarded. Do people not realize there are actual injustices in the world? I think the ice cream sounds pretty blah but that skit is a part of pop culture that is going to exist with or without the dessert named for it. Even if it was actually offensive (which it's not), B&J is ice cream mainly for adults anyway. Although personally I'd let my kid eat "Penis Vagina Boom Boom Fro Yo" if that was a real thing. Although that flavor might not be great either...

  14. While it doesn't bother me that they made the ice cream at all, I probably wouldn't buy it. Oh wait...malt balls you say? Well, maybe I would.

  15. What can I say girl, and I think you know it already, "I love balls (ahem)."

  16. As a moderately-conservative woman of Faith, I just have to say...

    I appreciate the humor, can't help but love SNL, and would eat the sh*t out of Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls. Count me in =)


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