March 18, 2011

Aging Gracefully? I Guess Not

As I was driving the other day, something caught my eye in the rear view mirror. I looked again. And again. I peered closer. I couldn't stop looking. I finally decided to pull the car over to get a good look, and I was floored at what  I saw.

A white hair. 

Right there on my forehead, in the middle of my bangs, front and center. Standing at attention. Brazenly, really. "I can't believe I have a white hair!" I squealed at The Spawn, who were all irritated at my antics.
"What's the big deal, Mom? You're pretty no matter what," said Spawn#1. My heart melted.
"Yeah Mom, you pretty!" chimed in Spawn#3.
"Mom, you are as pretty as the flowers on that tree that I want for my birthday," said Spawn#2. She's an odd one, but it was a sweet sentiment none the less.
I continued driving, but I couldn't get that damn white hair out of my thoughts. I'm only 32! I thought. Do people get white hair at 32? What the hell is going on? This isn't fair!

And you know what- I have no idea why I am freaking out over a white hair. If you know Not Blessed Mama in real life, you would know that vain is not a word that could be used to describe me. Hell, I don't even brush my hair half of the time- so why would a little white hair bother me? (Or three- I knew that sucker had to have friends hiding in there somewhere, so I went on a white hair witch hunt as soon as I got home- after angrily texting my mom to complain about my faulty genes.)

I wish I had some wisdom to impart here, or some story about how I saw the light and am no longer afraid of my three white hairs. But I don't- and I don't know why. I wanted to pull those suckers out and be done with it, but that felt like cheating. I feel like I need to keep those white hairs and rock them as a badge of honor. But god dammit, I'm 32!  Almost every time I walk by the mirror, I go searching for that little rogue and his buddies. I stare intently, wondering how that little hair wound up on my head- I keep thinking he belongs somewhere else, with someone else.
Oh well. At least I'll get a discount at IHOP.
One of you whipper snappers get me my cane!


  1. I found my first one when I was not quite 26! My cousin has quite a few in her head already and she's only 24. If it's any consolation... I haven't found anymore joining in on the fun :) I think they're just there to screw with us!

  2. OMG. Aren't they so gross? I found on in the middle of neck, just under my chin... aaaccckk!!
    Why they gots'ta be be so wiry anyway? LOL

  3. I totally had this great comment. Then the gremlin's came and wiped it clear. Damn gremlins. Not like they ever get grey hairs.

    Or do they...

  4. Jenna, I suppose I should count my blessings then!
    Lady, HAHAHA! I do not KNOW why they gots'ta be so wiry! God they suck.
    Lol Kidlit! You can tell me if you remember later- must have been a senior moment. ;)

  5. I was there a few years ago {at 23!} blamed it on the children and haven't seen one since I ripped that awful thing out!

  6. Aww, at least your kiddos were sweet about it. I find them in my hair too and I'm only 27. I don't want to go gray/white this soon either.

  7. I found my first grey hair when I was in my 20's. Your kids were sweet!

  8. Sooooo.. the general consensus seems to be that I am a big fat whiner, and I should be happy it didn't start in my twenties! And by golly, I sure am. Thanks for the perspective ladies!


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