June 21, 2012

Not Blessed Mama Presents: Truth In Advertising

Whenever I see a stupid product, commercial or advertisement, I always wish that a mom had worked with the company. Moms should be employed in every advertising agency and board room in this country- because a mom would not put up with that bullshit. 

There would be no toys that have more packaging than actual pieces. There would be no cute commercials about menstrual products- because nothing about menstruation is cute, and a mom would not put up with that bullshit. There would be no Sarah Jessica Parker selling hair dye (because she doesn't use it), there would be no popcorn insisting that it was whole grain (because that's stupid), there would be no shoes with wheels (because they're just irritating)- and yup, you guessed why. Because a mom would not put up with that bullshit. If Not Blessed Mama worked in advertising, she would spread the truth. Here are some samples that I'm putting in my resume. 

The "whore of a period" inspiration came from my Facebook Page.

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25 comments:

  1. Buhahaha! I definitely agree with you. Also, are you selling Mommy Juice? I need a couple of bottles!

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    1. I'm thinking I may need to start my own business. I could use some Mommy Juice too- and since it's not wine, you can drink it before 5!

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  2. I laughed so hard!! I loved the Whore of a Period complete with Valium and I will take a glass of Mommy Juice. Cheers! :-)

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    1. Thanks love. :) I'm looking into copyrighting "Whore of a Period". Hahaha.

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  3. Absolutely fabulous!! I will take a pack of pads, 2 bottles of juice, the stinkin' brat video, and two packs of tp to go, please. Oh, and can I get that with an extra side of valium? I think I'm gonna need it. lol

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    1. Wouldn't it be something if I could get this stuff made? Let me get some duct tape and I'll work on it.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you! I thought of you and MonkeyMama when I wrote it. :)

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  5. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. thank you for the laughs!

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  6. Love it!!!

    - LBJ

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    1. Thank you. :) I actually worked hard on this one! Haha.

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  7. We all need a little truth in advertising. That's why I have TIVO so I never have to watch another commercial again.

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    1. We have a DVR for the first time ever- and while I feel guilty spending the money, OMG that thing is awesome.

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  8. Dude this is freaking brilliant! How did I just see this? What's wrong with me? Genius!

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    1. Thanks love! This is definitely my magnum opus. Or are those condoms?

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  9. BAHAHAH!!!! Thank you my friend!!! This is exactly the laugh I needed today...its been a depressing mommy day, so THANK YOU. Need some mommy juice now.

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    1. I will totally share some mommy juice with you, my dear! Let me hop on a plane...

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  10. LMAO this is hilarious - love it!!! xxx

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    1. Thank you, my dear. I think I peaked with this post and it's all downhill from here.

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  11. I particularly love the pads "for that whore of a period" LOL amazing!! xxx

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    1. My period is always a massive whore. Why not let the world know?

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  12. Oh my gosh this is hilarious, I love the toilet paper with earplugs. Can it come with some kind of door lock too?

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    1. Oh yes, you do need the door locked or the earplugs aren't very useful if you have children climbing all over you.

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  13. OMG. I freakin love you. Never read your blog before. Found you off Monique and I'm about three in and FREAKIN LOVE YOU. And I DESPERATELY want and/or NEED some of that Mommy Juice right now...

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