Say What?

Tweet I love looking at the keywords that land people on my blog. I'm tellin' you, there is some crazy sh*t out there (and if you don't appreciate foul language, you are probably reading the wrong blog. And also, really don't read this post).

This post that I wrote about the infamous Go The F To Sleep book is my pride and joy- it got me over a thousand hits. Sadly, it wasn't for my literary genius- it was just because I had the good fortune to write about someone else's literary genius. Keyword searches for this post included:
go the f to sleep, go the fuck to sleep, go the f to sleep review, inside go the f to sleep, book shut up and go to sleep, go eff to sleep, sleep fuck (wrong blog, dude), go the fuck to sleep and too far, and a million other spellings of the f word. People really liked that book.

I had another post that was a review of that shite product Aqua Sand, and quite a few people found me that way too. Searches included:
aqua sand stain, aqua sand inventor, aqua sand toy review, can I return aqua sand, does aqua sand stain, and what is aqua sand. Ladies, do not waste your time on the A.S., trust me.

A post that got some amusing searches was my hate filled rant about when my kids and I got flipped off at Wal-mart. I can only imagine who was typing this stuff:
what do you do when you get flipped off, what happens if you flip someone at wal-mart off, should you be scared if you get flipped off, she flipped me off with my kids in the car, people flipping you off in front of your children, pictures of a woman flipping off her lover, kids flipping me off, kids flipping the bird, and how to get kids to stop flipping off. These searches have pretty much destroyed any hope I have for humanity.

And when I wrote about going incognito on Google Chrome, I had no idea what a public service I was providing. Going incognito pOrn, going incognito people standing behind you, does google incognito allow porn pop ups, and free porn sites for incognito (sorry friend, can't help you there).

But I have to say that the random, crazy searches are my favorite. Peeing at wet tshirt contest, famous saying not the ma ma, im like a gee, kingdom mama haters, mama kis the dat, owch moments in life, and saw guy wearing diaper in walmart are just a stellar example.

Seriously, people on the internets: WHAT THE HELL.

Not Blessed Mama's Unwanted And Unsolicited Book Review: Go The F To Sleep

Tweet I decided it was time to branch out with the Not Blessed Mama empire, and expand my unsolicated product reviews to the literary world. You're welcome, all of you. I do it because I love you.
A friend recently pointed this book out to me:

Yup, that's right- Go the Fuck to Sleep. After my moment of shock, I couldn't stop snickering. Check out this glimpse from inside the book-

All the kids from day care are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap. 
Hell no, you can't go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.


The only problem I have with this book is that I DIDN'T WRITE IT. Seriously- curse words, rhymes, adorable illustrations, babies- it's like a magical recipe for awesomeness. I am far too familiar with that feeling- it's the end of the day and you are running on empty. You wonder how in the hell your child is not passed out from exhaustion (because you are about to). You pray to the gods for that damn child (which you love with your entire being, of course), to just shut up and go to sleep. No, not a pretty thought- but not an uncommon or abnormal one either.
So, Adam Mansbach, a tip of the hat to you. I have many parent friends who I know would get a good laugh from this fine piece of literary genius.
(As would Not Blessed Mama, if this book would happen to land in her lap- and oh look, it's such a good price on Amazon too. Hmmmm.)