So, It's Christmas.

Tweet I'm not quite sure how it happened, but Christmas is indeed this weekend. I must have been sucked into a time warp this year because SERIOUSLY HOW IS IT CHRISTMAS???

I have to say, I've been delighted lately that people have wound up on my blog searching for my antique Victorian Wal-Mart Christmas village. It's one of my favorite decorations. 

My daughter set the table with our Christmas dishes. She's such a sweetheart. The only time the table has been set in the last 3 years was because of her. 

We made gingerbread people. And I'm such a good mom, I sat on my hands and let the Spawn do what they wanted instead of trying to recreate the beautiful creation on the box. 

And we got a real tree this year! Fortunately the kids wanted to decorate it, because I was exhausted after wrangling that thing into it's stand. Serious, do you know how much real trees weigh? Then it left a massive trail of needles after I dragged it into the house. Totally worth it though.

What? The lights are out on the bottom half? SHUT UP.

And here is the Spawn's Christmas picture. I always order pictures and never send out cards, so here ya go. 

From the Not Blessed Family to yours, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. 

Atheists Are Not Ruining Christmas

Tweet So, let me tell you my friends, straight from the horse's mouth (did I just call myself a horse?): I am an atheist,and I am not trying to ruin your Christmas. My computer didn't even burst into flames when I wrote that.

On Facebook and Twitter lately, the anti-atheist sentiment has been making the rounds. I know you've seen them- rants about how people are trying to take the Christ out of CHRISTmas. Complaints about how stores can't say "Merry Christmas" anymore. An urge to take a stand against the godless heathens who are ruining the season.

Not Blessed Mama is here to tell you that Atheists Don't Hate Christmas. You can have Christ all you want. I would never presume to tell you otherwise. I don't give a crap if a store says Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanzaa. It makes no difference to me. AT ALL. I would also never be so rude as to post a status complaining about your religious preferences, but that's a whole different story.

As a matter of fact, I love the Christmas season. I love trees and lights and cookies and presents and yummy food and making my loved ones happy.  And no, I don't participate in the religious side of Christmas- but that is no one's business but mine. Just like anyone else's choice to celebrate Christ is their business.

I know I am always imploring you to think about the children (the children! think of the children!) but this season I have a different request: Won't anyone think of the atheists? Leave atheists alone this Christmas. I promise I'll do the same for you.

Am I Really Going To Blog About Cleaning Again?

Tweet Yes, I really am going to blog about cleaning again. I know I've done it here and complained about laundry here and I even guest blogged about it here. But I can't stop complaining- cleaning is the bane of my existence. It darkens my days and haunts my nights- or something like that.
The holidays were especially brutal, which is normal- but my genius idea to replace the flooring in my living room right after Christmas really compounded matters. My house looked something like this-

Of course this isn't actually my house, my house was much worse than this. To this day we still barely have a room that you can walk through, and the poor Spawn are out of clean clothes. I actually encouraged Spawn#3 to wear his Transformers costume to the store today so I wouldn't have to go searching for clothes.

SO, my question is this- Mothers, how do you keep your houses clean? And don't go giving me the same old advice- I've tried all the stand-bys like threatening physical violence, duct tape, etc. I know there is some secret that I do not know. There has to be. Can't someone clue me in? When I go to other people's houses you can see their floors. How can one attain such a state of nirvana that is clean floors?

Other than cleaning all day and bitching at your kids, that is. I've tried those too. There's got to be a better way. 

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Tweet Well, I'm actually not dead, so that may not be appropriate. Hello, my dear mama friends! I am sorry that I have gone MIA like that. Really, you deserved better. I hope you'll forgive me. The holidays sort of took over and it has been a while since I even opened my poor laptop. It's got abandonment issues now, and the other day I caught it trying to attack the iPhone. 
This week I had a really great idea. My parents got me some laminate flooring, and my Dad and I installed it. Because really, why wouldn't home improvement projects be a great idea right after Christmas? I am full of glorious ideas!
This was my house this week:

So hopefully you can forgive my absence. I appreciate your understanding. 


It's been tough lately, I tell ya. 
Just look what I found in the bathroom. 

 I'll be back in 2011, I promise, my dears. Not Blessed Mama has missed you. 
Happy New Years to you all. 

Blah Humbug!

Tweet

So... Christmas, if you hadn't noticed, is in a few days. As was probably made obvious by the title of this post, I am having some difficulty getting into the spirit this year. Of course it's always fun with the kids- they are so excited, it's hard not to enjoy it. 


But I must say (and I hesitate to share this, but I think I'm not alone here) that financial problems are making this a tough year. Our story is like so many others- husband laid off, then got a crappy job with a big pay cut (and then another pay cut on top of that- yahoo). We'll be okay, though. Many others have it worse than me. We have a roof over our heads, food, electricity! So I shouldn't complain too much. 


BUT, if you know Not Blessed Mama, you know she loves complaining. Complaining makes the world go 'round! So for today's Christmas inspired post, I thought a "Blah Humbug" was in order. Instead of being festive and joyously celebrating the season like everyone else is, let's complain and be bitter and crabby. Just temporarily, and then we can be all jolly come Friday. For now though.....


-Toys 'R' Us sending me 3 e-mails a day makes me stabby. How many "best sales of the year" can they possibly have?
-Ok, this is hard to admit- but Salvation Army bell ringers make me stabby too. I don't have any money! And every where I turn someone else is asking me for it! Yes, I realize how horrid it sounds for me to say that people volunteering for charity are irritating. 
-Wrapping presents makes me REALLY stabby. I remember when I was younger I used to love wrapping presents for my grandmother. Wrapping presents for fun? What a stupid kid I was!
-Kay Jewelry commercials make me so stabby I scratched the television with a knife before I got ahold of myself. Not every thoughtful present has to be a diamond- and not every kiss begins with Kay! Screw you Kay!!!


So, I'm really hoping some of my readers will chime into Blah Humbug so I don't have to be a crabby, whiny Scrooge on my own here. What's making you stabby this holiday season?

Lost In Translation- Christmas Edition

Tweet Remember the other day when I said everything was going to be Christmas themed? I wasn't kidding!
Yesterday Spawn#3 and I were out in the front yard. I was on the lawn, he was walking on the sidewalk. When I went to check on him, he told me that a neighbor 2 houses down had just said "a-s-s". And yes, he spelled it. Getting alarmed, I looked down the street- I wondered if the neighbor finally realized how much I detest him for constantly letting his dog roam without a leash. I asked Spawn#3 again what happened- "He said a-s-s, like Kick Ass". (That stupid movie that enthralled everyone in this family with it's catchy title.) "He said a-s-s to you or to someone else?" "No, mom, that letters over there says a-s-s and I know that 'cause I'm a small boy", he said, pointing-

He' such an advanced reader. 

Wordless Wednesday... And A Few Words

Tweet Christmas Edition! It is December, so that means that everything must be Christmas related. Everything. Are you a communist or something? Get on board!

This is a glimpse of my Dad's house. Crazy, huh?

This is a super cute tiny little Nativity Scene I got at the

thrift store because it was so stinking cute.

Another tiny, ridiculously cute Nativity Scene. 

I have a lot of Nativity Scenes for an atheist.

Our first gingerbread house.

Hansel is missing already. 

Guess the witch ate him.

Or it was the Spawn picking at it. 

And last but certainly not least, the Walmart Victorian
Christmas Village. Notice the amazing detailing on this
piece. It's high quality and sought by collectors. 

Not Blessed Mama's Christmas List

Tweet It appears that the Christmas rush is officially upon us. Less than 3 weeks to go! Somehow time has passed me by again. While I'm distracted with my Christmas shopping, I thought someone might be able to pass my list on to Santa. I have been a (reasonably) good Mama this year, and I think they're very reasonable requests.


Dear Santa, I've been nice! Can I have:
1. A manicure. Santa, have you seen my hands? They look like I dig trenches instead of raise children. 
2. 18 hours of straight sleep. For some reason I am convinced that all life's problems would be solved if I just got to sleep for a day. Or two.
3. Meal delivery service. Do you have any idea how many more things I could get done in a day if I wasn't spending half of it in the kitchen?
4. A bathroom that doesn't smell like pee. Yes, I can have that now, but I'd like it without having to scrub the toilet. And the floor. And everything else. 
5. Clothes with no stains on them. It's bad enough that the Spawn must go around town in clothes covered in dirt, paint and whatever else they get on themselves. Must Mama look like a bum too? That stupid homemade slime. Knew it was a bad idea.   
 6. A Roomba. What? Those things are cool!
7.  A big ol' tricked out mini-van. Ok, I know this one is asking for a bit much... but Santa, I have been soooo good and I want a mini-van sooo bad! I have 3 kids! And you know how much crap they have- you've given them half of it, so I feel you are a little bit responsible here. I want one with a cooler in the floor for drinks and removable seats and DVD players and and and.... all that good stuff. Any color is fine. 
I anxiously await your decision, and thank you for your consideration.
Love, Not Blessed Mama

Christmas Cards from Shutterfly

Tweet You all know how much I love Shutterfly- I've been using them for years, and even had their photo cards as my first give-away. Well Shutterfly is now offering  20% off all holiday cards..... and they have the cutest designs. I love making photo cards to send out. People get to see my cute Spawn, I don't have to write a message (since it's printed on the photos), and I don't even have to SIGN the dang things. And some of the designs are quite affordable:

This design is great because I can never get a decent picture of the 3 Spawn together. Someone is always looking drunk or making a fist behind someone's head. 

This card (and this one too) also have multiple spaces for pictures. This year, I think I'd like to get as many of

our animals in on the Christmas card action as possible. How awesome would it be if our 3 guinea pigs were wearing Santa hats and wishing people Merry Christmas? It' be sweet!

Shutterfly is giving me 50 free photo cards to blog about how awesome they are. And they are awesome, trust me! I continue to be a satisfied customer.