March 15, 2012

The Saw. And, I'm Weird

It's no secret that I think I'm hilarious. I'm always cracking myself up. Being ridiculous is my gift in life, my talent. And I'm always telling my husband how lucky he is that he has such a funny wife.

Usually I'm telling Not Blessed Dad that I'm hilarious after I've done something particularly stupid. It's a little game I play- I like to see what kind of reaction I can get out of him when I'm being absurd. One of my faves used to be putting random food scraps in his toilet to see what they would puff up to be, and what he would say. I don't know what I was expecting- him to ask me if an alien came and took a dump at our house? Sadly, the only thing he ever said was, "Who put crumbs in my toilet?". DISAPPOINTING.

Last night I decided that I needed to finally finish putting the molding around our fireplace. At 9:30 at night- because, like I said, I'm ridiculous. After poking around in the garage and not finding anything sharp, I texted my husband.

Me: I need a saw.
Him: There's one by the side of the house. The kids put it there. By the gate close to the garbage can.
Me: I can't believe you didn't ask me what I needed it for. What's wrong with you???
Him: Well, why would I ask that. (20 minutes later, after I don't respond.) Well I'm going to sleep.

If someone asked you for a saw at 9:40 at night, wouldn't you ask them what the hell they were doing? What else could it be besides sawing up dead bodies? And keep in mind that Not Blessed Dad works out of town now and is gone all week. Leaving me alone to homeschool our 3 precious (?) children by myself. And I ask for a saw late at night, and he says he's going to bed. Sheesh. 

I obviously need to up my game. 

March 1, 2012

How I Traumatize My Children- San Francisco Edition

I love San Francisco. It's diverse, interesting, crazy, fun. There's a ton to do. Last week we took the kids for a little overnight trip there. Not only do you get to see beautiful sights like this-

Visiting the sea lions at Pier 39. 

You get to see weird, crazy ass shit like this- 

This is Laffing Sal at Musée MécaniqueShe's a giant, 7 foot tall freakish clown that has been scaring (delighting?) children since the 30's. Laffing Sal is just the tip of the iceberg though. Onto my very favorite thing at this arcade....


This was a memorable one. "The French Execution- The Bell will Toll, the Curtain rises- & you will see the Culprit pay the Penalty!" Which, of course, is getting your head chopped off. 

There were a handful of these, and of course I dragged the kids around to every one- laughing my head off.

This one was a nice change of pace- simply labeled "Execution". It had a hanging instead of a guillotine. 

The kids were really getting weirded out by these machines. I thought all those violent video games turned children into little serial killers and sadists? I feel really mis-led. 

Of course there were other things besides the murder machines- there were gumballs. 

If you are taking a trip to the Bay area, definitely stop by this lovely little arcade/museum and traumatize your children. It makes for great family memories! 

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